What to Write. By Julie Haibach

Hello loyal readers going to try something because my ability of writing has seemed to have gone out the window. The past couple weeks have found me in a strange world of hyper anxiety. This started before my trip and continues today. I finally am understanding why bipolar people go off their meds. I haven’t, I won’t…I can’t risk a full blown panic attack. I do fantasize about running away..Jerry and the dogs included, to a place where I am not an alcoholic bipolar person..Just Julie is all I want to be. Yikes, I am getting morbid. Anyways, what is different these past weeks?
First and probably the worst is my tremors are back which means typing, texting, drawing, even holding a cup is a nightmare. I now carry a straw with me so incase my shakes are to bad I can use that. Last week I cried one morning because I couldn’t log in to my bank account. Jerry offered to help but I just laughed and said, “but you cant see!” Yes, an anxious moment turned into a laugh. Today, I am using the computer to write because the keys are bigger and easier to delete plus I am very shaky today.
Another fun thing is I now am afraid of wind while driving, I cancelled to appointments last week because of wind on the thruway. Somehow, a gust of wind is going to blow my, although small, but heavy car off the road. This week I have no problem driving..What is different? My pills where adjusted.
I wish I had something more exciting to talk about, I do feel better this week and on the path to writing good things. Right now, I am just impressed that I can type. Anyways, time to get ready for an appointment that I didn’t cancel and to go on with my day..until next week!